I’m still here

Today is October 6, 2020. Wow. It has been more than six months since my last post and I think eight months since I did an episode. Why? Do I really need to explain that? I had just barely launched this project off the ground in January when shit. hit. the. fucking. fan. January 2020 seems like five years ago. Since then, well, yeah. The podcast studio is in my house and nobody but me and my wife have been in my house since the last episode. Seriously. Except I think my sister dropped off some pound cake but I am pretty sure she stayed on the front porch. Has this year driven me insane? Trick question. I was already bat shit crazy before 2020. So HA! Fuck you 2020. You know what? I actually don’t like the whole blaming 2020 thing. It’s dumb. It’s not the year’s fault. 2020 didn’t have a choice. It’s what comes after 2019 and it can’t vote, so no, the number you write on your checks is not responsible for anything, it’s just how we will remember it. You can count me out of those who will be reveling in sure-to-be stupidly crowded New Years Eve celebrations, as if ticking off one more trip around the sun since Jesus was born is going to solve our problems.

The reason I spent 15 minutes today just trying to remember my password to log in to this website I made is to tell you that the podcast is going to live on…. I hope. I liked doing it so I’m going to keep doing it. Even what little you see here was a lot of work! And I’ve done a lot of work trying to figure out how to keep recording episodes over the phone, or whatever, during a quarantine/social distancing. But after cancelling the episodes I had scheduled and messing around with different ways to record phone calls, it just never panned out and I lost the wind that was in my sails. Depression. Ok? It was depression. Don’t act like you haven’t been, this is America. I don’t owe you an explanation. In early February I had FIVE really interesting people booked and on the calendar to come over to the house and do a show and others who had agreed to do one and just needed to pin down a day. The momentum was real and I was very excited. I was on par to crank out a new episode every two weeks or so for a few months. I think maybe I can get that energy back. Who knows? I haven’t even reached back out to those friends who had agreed to be guests yet. Writing this is the first step I’m taking to get back into the swing of things. Maybe by tomorrow the wind will be taken from my sails again. That’s how 2020 has been. Day to day. And don’t get me wrong, this year has been good to us! Us being my wife and I. Neither of us have gotten COVID and both of us remain employed for the duration of, that’s right, 2020. So far. Knock on wood or whatever your superstitious thing is that you do to ward off 2020. You know what? Fuck 2020, it is to blame I was wrong. Do you even want more episodes? Is anyone even reading this?